Meet the New Squeaks, Same as the Old Squeaks

I'm a dog.  I'm a lucky dog. I have lots of great toys.  Toys that I like to chew and chase and chew and catch and chew some more.  My favorite toy is named Mr. Squeaks.  He blue spotted squeaky rubber octopus with tentacles that act like party blowers.  He was a gift from my dogmother Amanda.  Squeaks originally belonged to her dog, Lady, may she rest in peace.

Snuggling with Mr. Squeaks.

 

Anyway, I love Mr. Squeaks.  When Squeaks and I first met, I liked to nose him and carry him around by his tentacles, but his squeak frightened me.  Eventually I got used to his squeaking and came to love it.  I like to play fetch inside the house with Squeaks.  I also like to hold him by some of his tentacles and shake him around, beating my face with his tentacles.  Donna (Matt's mom), thinks this particular move is hysterical.  All of this rough-housing with squeaks has left him in bad shape.  By December, he lost all but two of his tentacles.  By the new year, he was down to zero.  A Squeaks without tentacles is a Squeaks without a squeak.  He is a Squeaks that I cannot toss around by his tentacles.  He is a Squeaks I must tear apart and destroy.

Me and Squeaks playing around.

Giving Squeaks a good shake.

Knowing how much I loved Squeaks, Matt and Alicia tried to find a suitable replacement.  They looked around at all the pet stores and pet aisles within stores searching for a new squeaks.  Nothing fit the bill.  Then, just days before Christmas, Alicia was on Amazon and found these guys.  They looked promising.  A ladybug and octopus were ordered and arrived just before Christmas, and made their way to my stocking.  On Christmas, I opened my presents.  I was immediately unimpressed.  These squeaks were smaller and had weak squeaks.  I rejected them outright.

Impostors known as Lady Squeaks and Squeaks Jr. 

Mr. Squeaks! Look! You've started a family!

Then Matt was doing some more research on Amazon and found him.  Mr. Squeaks! You've come back to me!  I love Mr. Squeaks. I didn't even notice that he magically got his tentacles back.  I treat him just like the original.  I've even pulled off two of his tentacles already!  Matt and Alicia keep stopping me from causing damage.  But I've seen behind the curtain.  I know there's a third Mr. Squeaks hiding in the cabinet, waiting to fill the role when I finally get the rest of those pesky tentacles off.

Three generations of Squeaks.

I can't wait to get my paws on Squeaks #3.

I'm Not Lovin' It

I'm a dog.  I haven't posted in a while because Alicia says she's been too busy with work and "life" to post cute photos and dog thoughts.  I called her bluff this morning by showing her the following radio ad from McDonald's. (Note: The image that runs with the audio was created by a group that tried and succeeded in getting the ad pulled.  I appreciate that they chose such a good looking pit bull to make their case.  A picture of me would've been better, but this one was good.)



Now, I'll give them that they said "petting a stray pit bull," as I do not suggest petting ANY stray dogs*, but why did they have to make it a pit bull?  Hasn't Michael Vick doesn't enough damage to our image?

Anyway, they did apologize, and pull the ad, which is nice.  I just wish they hadn't created the ad in the first place.

*If you come across a stray dog, whatever the breed, you should call animal control and observe the dog's behavior for a while to make sure it isn't sick, injured, etc. before even attempting to get close.

Puppy's First Christmas: Meeting Santa

I'm a dog.  Word on the street is that Christmas is a week away.  I'm still getting the hang of this whole Christmas thing - trees in the living room, being told "No" when I try to sneak some cookies off the counter, being told "No" when I try to investigate what has been placed in the "Molly" stocking.  being told "No" when I try to eat the poinsettia - and today I discovered a new side of the impending holiday: Santa Claus.

This afternoon, we went over to PetSmart to get a bag of food, and suddenly I was trapped in a room with Santa Claus.  I heard a rumor that Santa was a jolly old man from the North Pole who delivered treats and toys to all the good puppies.  The person who wanted me on their lap was a woman with glasses wearing a red velvet suit and a horribly fake long, flowing, white beard.  I know this because when I got up on the bench, the first thing I did was lick Santa square on the mouth.  She was forced to adjust her beard and give herself away.

Eventually I settled down enough for the woman to take one good photo.  Tada!

Don't I look beyond thrilled to be meeting Santa?  My face might look bored, but see how Santa is straining to keep me still?  I couldn't contain myself.

It's hard to believe this shot didn't make the Christmas card.

Puppy's First Christmas: Holiday Greetings!

I'm a dog.  I am not adept at video editing.  But even I could make a holiday greeting card using Animoto, because it's just so easy!  But I didn't make this one. Take a gander at this puppy (Ha! Dog humor.) that Alicia put together for our family Christmas card.  Take special note of the adorable puppy who gets a several photo shout out starting at :45.  What a cute pup!



Merry Christmas! Happy Hannukah! Season's Greetings! Happy New Year!

Puppy's First Christmas: Decking the Halls

I'm a dog.  It's not Christmas yet, but it will be soon.  I've been picking up the slack around here and getting everything ready for Christmas.  I want it to be perfect.  After all, a puppy only gets one first Christmas!

I began holiday preparations by having Matt and Alicia drive me over to a nearby church to select a Christmas tree.  Last year, they had their tree on the ground in a stand.  This year, I advised them to get a shorter tree and put it on a table so I wouldn't be tempted to eat either the tree or the ornaments.  Here's the one we selected:

In between chasing children, I picked out the tree!

 Ain't she a beauty?  I think I did a really good job, considering that until recently, I had realized people liked to take chopped down trees and feature them in the living room with decorations.

Helping the "old man" put up the tree.

Once the tree was up, it was time to decorate.  I let Matthew and Alicia handle the placement of the lights and ornaments, but provided valuable assistance sniffing and licking (okay, okay, and trying to chew) several of the ornaments.

All decorated!

My favorite ornament is one that Alicia found special and gave me as an early Christmas present.  It's a pit bull puppy made of dough, and it looks a lot like me!  

When Alicia found it on Etsy, she said she gasped and ordered it immediately.  Aside from the brown spot on her face, this pup is almost my spitting image.  The lady who makes them, Judy Caron, was even nice enough to change the pup's red collar to blue, and write my name on it!

And of course no Christmas would be complete without hanging the stockings "with care" from the card catalog.

Another of my early Christmas presents is this personalized "Snow Dogs" stocking from Company Store.  Alicia found last year's designs on clearance earlier this fall and knew she'd struck gold.  My only complaint is that the white puppy with the green scarf is missing her brown cow spots.  I can't wait to see what I find in my stocking on Christmas morning!

Stay tuned to see if Santa decides whether I've been naughty or nice.  On the one hand, I think he has to side with "nice," since Matt and Alicia are always telling me what a good girl I am, and people are still not tired of telling me how cute I am.  On the other hand, I usually jump up on them and try to lick their faces off right after I receive that compliment, and I have munched on my chair a few times, which hasn't made Matt and Alicia too happy.  I guess we'll see!

(P)Up All Night

I'm a dog.

Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night and wasn't feeling well.  Here's what happened:

4:00am: Wake up with a tummy ache and begin crying.
4:10am: My cries finally reach Matthew and Alicia, who are upstairs sleeping.
4:14am: Since I won't stop crying, Matthew comes downstairs to see what's the matter.
4:16am: After hopping out of my crate and bouncing around the room for about a minute, Matthew can't figure out what's wrong.  I'm trying to ask him to take me outside, but he thinks I want to play.  He tells me it's bedtime, and puts me back in my crate.
4:17am: I begin crying again.
4:17am: Matthew and Alicia begin telling me, "No" from upstairs.
4:20am: I can no longer bear my tummy ache, and explosively poop all over my bed, crate and puppy self.
4:21am: Matthew starts down the stairs and is overwhelmed by the smell of poop.  He rushes to my crate and gets me out to the kitchen, calling for Alicia.
4:22am: Alicia comes downstairs and sees me covered in poop.  She helps Matthew wipe me down.  They keep apologizing profusely for not understanding that I was begging them to take me out so that I wouldn't mess myself and my bed.
4:25am: Matthew takes me outside, where I get the last bit of diarrhea out of my bum and eat a lot of grass.
4:25am: Alicia begins the terrifyingly stinky task of cleaning everything up.  She picks up poop bits off the carpet with her fingers (as paper towels weren't delicate enough and would've smeared it in).  She wipes down the crate with paper towels.  She pulls the bed out and unzips the cover.  She wipes the poop juice off the inner bed.  She brings the poopy cover up to the bathtub and rinses all the poop down the drain.
4:40am: Matthew and I return from outside.  We go right upstairs and into the bathtub to get me fully bathed. The whole time, he tells me what a good girl I am.  I still don't want to take a bath.
4:55am: Alicia gets a bucket of hot soapy water and wipes down the entire crate.
5:00am: Matthew and Alicia towel me off, telling me over and over again how sorry they are and how much they love me.
5:10am: I'm dry and sleepy and I still feel sick.  I curl up on my chair to go to sleep.
5:13am: Alicia offers to sleep downstairs with me, since she has to get up at 6:30 anyway.
5:15am: Matthew snuggles onto the couch to sleep in the living room with me and make sure I'm okay.
5:15am: Alicia snuggles back into bed, hoping to get some sleep.
6:30am: Matthew comes upstairs, Alicia wakes up and starts getting ready for work.
7:00am: Alicia wakes me up and takes me on a walk.  I'm sleepy, but happy.  I feel better.
7:15am: Back from the walk, I hop right back on my chair and go to sleep.
11:00am: I rouse myself from sleep to get a drink of water and snack on a little peanut butter.  I'm planning to sleep the rest of the day.

And I did.

I'm feeling much better now.  I've had a scoop of kibble, some hot dog, some cheese and some green beans. If I'm not eating or out on a walk, I'm asleep.

Happy Howl-a-ween!

I'm a dog.  Today is my first Halloween. I woke up this morning ready to put on my costume and go out trick-or-treating.  Then Alicia informed me that trick-or-treating doesn't happen until later in the day.  And that dogs are not allowed to eat candy.  And that kind of spooked the holiday spirit right out of me.

She did inform me, however, that we could go on some nice long walks in costume!  My best dog friend Chili loaned me his squirrel costume, which no longer fits him.  Since I love squirrels (or rather, I love to chase them), Alicia thought this would be a perfect fit.

Unfortunately, the costume was a bit too big.

And I wanted to eat it.

So we switched to Costume Plan B: Molly Moo!

I already came equipped with the white fur and large brown spots, so this costume was a natural fit.

Just add a cow bell and some horns, and voila!

Instant cow.

Moo!

Crazy-eyed cow.

Me and Katniss Everdeen from the Hunger Games!

Happy Halloween!